can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
