6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
handjob tips. give me some.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of j�ger and an empty bed here Friday.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
