I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
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