on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
