Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
