You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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