holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
