brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
