Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Randomize
