YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
