hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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