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• (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.

  (1-780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Girl's gotta have her standards.

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• (916): View more from California

  Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice

  Fav 76 3094 1911

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• (325): View more from Texas

  Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.

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• (904): View more from Florida

  I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.

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• (774): View more from Massachusetts

  One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.

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• (502): View more from Kentucky

  I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.

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• (228): View more from Mississippi

  I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.

  (1-228): View more from Mississippi

  Probably on drugs.

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.

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• (925): View more from California

  are you still alive?

  (1-925): View more from California

  no.

  (925): View more from California

  i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things

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• (470): View more from Georgia

  I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man

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• (817): View more from Texas

  I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.

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