A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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