new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
