I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
