I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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