yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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