what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
