I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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