I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
