can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
My balls are so social today.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
