i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
