plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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