she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
