Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Randomize
