who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
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