So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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