Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
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