just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
