Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
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