No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Randomize
