This girl is more easily done than said...
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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