look no pants
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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