no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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