please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
