Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
just tell him i said nine months
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Randomize
