theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
