love makes seman taste better
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
