well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
