super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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