i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
