They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
