I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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