We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
