I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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