Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
