Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Randomize
