I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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