Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
