I just gift wrapped bread.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
